Kept Inside
by RyuuseiDragonPenguin
Summary: Takes place ten years after Inazuma Eleven Go and Chrono Stone. Only now, when it's too late, does Tsurugi regret never telling Tenma about his feelings. He kept everything inside, and now he's asked to be the best man... for Tenma's and Taiyou's wedding.


**A/N: Hey, it's me with my first InaGo story! This is also one of my first times not writing something linked to a certain episode, like my two other fics. Hope you guys like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: Level-5 owns IE, though I really want to.**

~Kept Inside~

Tenma's POV

I spin around excitedly, watching the filmy garment float up and drift back down again when I stop twirling. The flurries of shimmering silk and fine lace are so beautiful that I do it again, going round and round until I collapse into the swivel chair in dizziness, laughing away. Aki-nee smiles at my childish antics. "I'm so proud of you, Tenma-kun," she comments, picking up the brush yet again to stroke through my already immaculate hairdo.

I love the way Aki-nee has styled it. I originally thought of getting some extensions and somehow remove the wing-like curls, in hopes of looking like a pretty, sophisticated girl that I believed my fiancé deserved. But he wouldn't have any of that. I close my eyes, feeling warmness in my chest at the memory. A small smile forms as I remember his words- soft as his fingers running through my brown strands- that day I brought up my suggestion.

_"Silly," he sighed gently, twirling a lock and delicately tucking it behind my ear. "Why would I want to see a dolled-up girl on my wedding day, the day when I marry you, Tenma? I want to see the bubbly, soccer loving, amazing guy that I've known since I was thirteen. I want to see the boy I bumped into at the hospital that day, played against in the Holy Road tournament, and cheered for when his team won. I want you and only you, Tenma."_

_Then he leaned in and kissed me, for the umpteenth time in our long relationship, but still in that soft yet passionate way that always sends my heart racing._

So my hair remains the same, save the two elegant braids woven from either 'wing', joined down the middle at the back. I wear no makeup, and my shoes were spared from reckless heels. The only feminine thing I wear is my wedding dress.

And I love it. Black is commonly frowned down upon during weddings, but I insisted on having the dress tailored to my wishes. After all, a soccer ball is made out of white and black, isn't it? My dress is simple, ballooning out at the waist like any ball gown. But what sets it apart is the netting that goes over the skirt. White marked systematically with soft black pentagons, it transforms the dress into a soccer ball itself, reflecting the sport that brought my love and me together, as we both wanted to play it fairly and forever.

Aki-nee finishes, excusing herself with a grin when she hears the call for everyone to be seated. "Gambatte, Tenma-kun," She encourages, closing the door behind her as she goes off to find her seat. I wander around the changing room aimlessly, finding myself in front of a full-length mirror someone propped up. I smile at my reflection, giving myself a childish thumbs-up.

"It all worked out in the end, didn't it?" I say aloud in happiness, talking to the young man in the mirror, who is about to be married off to the love of his life.

I can't wait to marry you today, Amemiya Taiyou.

Tsurugi's POV

I'm dressed in a suit, but I'm not the groom. I'm not seated in the audience, but I'm not the groom. I loved him far before- and almost certainly more than- you ever did, Amemiya, but yet I am not the groom and you are.

How I hate how you smile and thank me for coming. The way you speak earnestly of your fiancé to the guests, not knowing that I long to be in your place. I loath how you describe the day you met Tenma like a fairytale, when I know that it was in fact the worst screw-up of my life, not knowing Tenma followed me to the hospital. If only he hadn't left at that time. If only you had stayed inside.

"I have to thank Fuyuka-san when she arrives. If she didn't make me stay in bed all day, I would have never tried to run out, and I wouldn't have bumped into Tenma. Guess being kept inside was the best luck of my life."

You have no clue what it truly means to be kept inside, Amemiya. I have, hidden and buried and submerged secrets inside until they are part of me, dark truths that haunt me every night. I am trapped in a cage of my own truths and lies, constantly confusing the two in the darkness I face.

You haven't the faintest idea how to suffer from the things you never got to say. You are a dumb child to this ripping, agonizing regret that tears up my insides every time I think about Tenma. You would collapse and wallow if you were the one under this weight of the things I never got the chance to say, and have kept inside.

*flashback*

xXx Two weeks earlier xXx

"You want me to the best man at your wedding?" I splutter, losing control of my cool composure for a while, staring unashamedly at my best friend with wide eyes.

I recently returned to Japan not quite a week ago, having travelled with my Nii-san for a while. Imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when my apartment landline rang, with Tenma on the other end. I was nearly ecstatic when he invited me over to a small cafe for a chat, not that I would ever admit it. I never admit anything to him.

And now... I have absolutely no idea what to think. I HAD chastened myself not to get my hopes up, but even the most pessimistic side of me would have never expected this. It was like a mirror fractured in my brain, breaking the illusion I had always seen to reveal the reality behind it.

He giggles at my stunned reaction, still the child he was when I first met him ten years ago. Just as ignorant to my true feelings, too. Tenma leans over the table earnestly, eyes hopeful. "I really hope you can be, Tsurugi. I've known you for so long, I really couldn't think of anything better than having you as my best man."

_I can. If I was the groom._ These words, burdened with longing, never leave me, of course. The stuff I really want to say to Tenma never do come out. I content myself by clenching my fists from under the table, regaining and managing to retain my usual stoic expression even when my nails cut into my palms and draw blood. I draw the fist-lock even tighter, hoping the pain will wake me up from this sick, insane nightmare.

It doesn't. Realizing this means that I have to reply, I manage a casual shrug along with an uncommitted grunt. "Jesus, Tenma, where the hell did this spring from?" I drawl out, leaning back in my seat in fake nonchalance. I hate how I bite back my shocked accusations, my pain inside, and my confessions. It's so natural to do so now that's it's an instinct, but that doesn't make it any less freaking painful. "I wasn't even aware you were dating, let alone engaged."

Yes, Tenma actually begins to look a little abashed, probably figuring that he had come on too strong. A nervous laugh sounds as Tenma pokes his fingers together, ducking his head a little in embarrassment. He recovers soon after though, lifting his hand to the back of his head as he replies,

"Aha... Gomen gomen. I forgot that you have been out of the loop for a while, traveling with Yuuichi-san. The truth is, my finance and I have been dating for nearly three years. And yeah, he only proposed about a month back, so I guess you wouldn't know..." He trails off apologetically.

I can't stand this. I can't stand how Tenma manages to hurt me so much with the words he doesn't realize are painful, blind me with innocent, oblivious blue-grey eyes. It renders me vulnerable- a fact that I despise- because it shows exactly how much I love him. The person you love is always the one that can hurt you the most. Twists anything you do into your deepest regrets.

It took a while for my Nii-san to recover, even after the operation. A good two years passed before he could walk competently without assistance. It was a miracle actually, considering the six years he had spent disabled, but Nii-san managed it. After that, we just... wanted to do everything we had missed out on. I began to seclude myself from, eventually breaking off some ties with, my closest friends to spend my time with him again.

Another five years went by for Nii-san to re-learn how to play soccer, finally playing like the professional he would have become if the accident never happened. In my happiness, I began closing the doors on my friendships, even locking some. This was dangerous, shutting off the friends that changed my life in one way or another- and I knew that- but I needed to repay Nii-san all the time I had robbed from him in his life. The only door I hesitated at was my bond with Tenma. In the end, I left it ajar, ready to fling it open one day.

Our lives just went uphill from then on. We became Pro League players, and in between big matches, Nii-san and I began to visit other countries, getting thrills that now we could go anywhere we want, with no injured legs as an anchor keeping us chained down.

I was aware though, that wasn't truly the case. I was being held back, never daring to go too far away for too long, secretly worried that my ties with Tenma would strain or even sever. But then I hated myself for that.

"What are you doing, Kyousuke?" I would ask myself, staring down at my red phone. It had grown worn over the years, battered to the core. But I didn't dare change it, in case I never got to tell Tenma my new number before I left for my next trip.

"Why are you so scared of losing him, when you never show him how much you care?" His excited chatter over the phone would leave me with a huge grin for the rest of the day, a sight so rare my Nii-san would tease me about it.

"Why do you love him like this?" And I would find myself with absolutely no answer.

And finally, when I decided to forget Tenma for a while, change my phone number and go far away, stay for a while in a foreign country with only my Nii-san for company... This happened.

It was stupid to regret what I did. Damn Tenma for making me feel like this whole thing was MY freaking fault because I had left him for a while. I should be pleased that I wouldn't have to wonder whether he'd find someone else. I should feel elated that I had kinda made up for ruining Nii-san's life so many years ago. I shouldn't feel like complete, utter trash, thrown aside for another dude by the guy that showed me the path back to true soccer. But I did, and yet what do I do?

"... Fine. I'll be your best man." And there it goes again. My chance to let out my true feelings.

I resist the urge to scream when he automatically perks up, his beautiful eyes sparkling with glee. "Arigatou, Tsurugi! You'll do great! I'm so glad, now everything's perfect! Taiyou and I will make sure you'll have a important part! I'll send you the wedding details by phone once they're finalized!"

_Yeah yeah... Wait, Taiyou?_

With that, Tenma grabs his bag and takes off, and I watch him through the cafe's glass. He pauses to fish out his phone, frantically punching in numbers into his cell and lifting it to his ear with a smile. Though I cannot read his lips, I know whose name he's saying with that loving look on his face.

I sit there for don't know long after he leaves, staring at nothing, thinking through everything. Amemiya is Tenma's fiancé. Tenma never knew about my feelings. I had kept everything inside until it was too late.

But what hurts the most is that Tenma didn't know I changed my phone number. And that meant he hadn't even tried to call me once, for the past few years. Three years, I'm assuming. Ever since he started dating Amemiya.

*flashback ends*

Now they're calling for everyone to be seated. I growl under my breath as Amemiya takes me by my jacket and tows me to my place beside the stage. "Jesus Tsurugi, don't daze off on me! After all the trouble of tracking you down, Tenma wouldn't want that," he jokes, finally releasing me with a laugh.

"What makes you think you can speak for Tenma?"

Shit. But I am pleased I managed to say SOMETHING before Tenma marries this baka. He doesn't even look startled, only smiling more. "The last time I saw you, you were still calling him Matsukaze. Grown closer, have you two?"

"Nothing of that sort," I bark back in annoyance, though I want to say yes badly, "Just figured since he'll soon be... Amemiya Tenma." _This jerk, he completely avoided my question and still got me flustered..._

"How did you guys get my phone number anyway?" I want to accuse him somehow, "Tenma didn't even know."

_Tenma didn't care enough to know._

Just when Amemiya opens his mouth, the call for the groom sounds. "Well, wish me luck, Tsurugi!" And Amemiya rushes off, and I never get my answer. _Son of a-_

Taiyou's POV

I knew. I always knew. You think I'm an oblivious bystander, but I play more in this story than you think. Tsurugi Kyousuke, you are in love with my fiancé.

I can't begrudge you for that. Dear Tenma is irresistible, with his passion and determination and love for soccer. We all gravitate to him naturally, beckoned in by the strong yet welcoming winds that blow from his very being. His personality is a rare gem, and Tenma is a treasure that you would have to be a idiot not to want.

But I cannot surrender him to you. Love is thinking about the other party, and Tenma chose me. I won't leave when he wants me. You regard me as a fool, but so are you in my eyes.

Why? Because you had every chance to tell him your feelings, but you didn't. There was never anything holding you back, other than your own stubborn pride and fear of rejection. You shouldn't have been afraid, Tsurugi. Tenma would have never hurt you.

If you had confessed earlier, Tenma would have accepted you.

*flashback*

xXx Three Years Ago xXx

"Oi! Tenma-kun! Is that you? Long time no see!" I run after a young man engrossed in his phone, recognizable by his tell-tale hair. I have to admit, my heart flutters at the prospect of chatting with my crush again.

"... Oh, Taiyou? That you?" He mumbles in mild surprise when he turns around. When he looks up, his face is one of a person suddenly shaken from deep thought. Already, I sense something amiss when his eyes don't light up like they always do.

My suspicions are confirmed when he doesn't respond to the friendly hug I give him, choosing to hang limply in my arms until I release him. Even then, he remains a statue, staring at his phone. My eyebrows knit together in concern.

"Tenma-kun? Are you okay?" I enquire, looping my arm through his as I tow him into walking again, feeling like I'm supporting all of his weight as he robotically follows. I have never seen Tenma like this.

"... Yeah." Then he sighs, long and deep. "No, I'm not," he admits, "I... Can't reach Tsurugi. I keep trying, but the number is said to be invalid. I think he changed it."

"Tsurugi, huh? Isn't he living abroad with his bro or something now?" I say, recalling vaguely something Yuuichi told me a while back. We had been hospital buddies (along with Shindou for a while) and had kept in touch. I twitch a little at the idea of Tsurugi being the reason of my crush's currently depressed state.

Tenma nods miserably, beginning to walk properly, faster and faster till it's me stumbling to catch up. "I'm so worried, Taiyou. Why would he change his number without telling me? I used to call him once a week or so, and he never seemed annoyed at me. He even told me he liked keeping in touch with me! So why didn't he bother?"

I pat his shoulder consolingly, causing him to stop. Relieved that I'm not being dragged around any more, I manage to smile a little. My mind is calm now, assuming that Tenma was getting worked up over something small. Silly Tenma.

But... Tenma doesn't seem like the type to be worried over nothing. Heck, this was the boy who faced the Holy Emperor head on with a smile on his face. The one with '_It'll work out somehow!_' always on his lips. In fact, the more I ponder it, the more likely I missed an important piece of the puzzle.

"Etto, Tenma-kun? Are you and Tsurugi really close or something?"

That gets me a reaction. Tenma starts to nod furiously, balling up his fists for emphasis. "Yes! Tsurugi is my best friend! He told me once I was the one who showed him true soccer again! He's always been nice to me ever since we became friends! He's- he's-" Tenma hangs his head awkwardly, mumbling out the last words,

"He's been my crush for forever."

*flashback ends*

You missed your chance, Tsurugi.

Ever since then, I made an effort to visit Tenma everyday; fill up the void of emptiness you left him. I continued to comfort him until he would smile at me truly again. We hung out almost everyday, and Tenma began coming back fragment by fragment, and I was the one who stitched them back together.

I would be lying if I said I had no ulterior motive. In one sense, I _did_ do everything I could to make him forget you, but not so he'd love me. I justify myself now that I just couldn't stand seeing Tenma that sad. You just happened to be the cause of it, Tsurugi. Inevitably, the remedy was to make him get over you.

But you must take half of the blame onto yourself. I understand that you were trying to make it up to Yuuichi, but did you consider Tenma, take his possible feelings to account? You didn't, you saw your feelings to be strictly one-sided without ever confirming it.

By the time I tracked down your new number and passed it to Tenma, he smiled and computed it into his phone. He didn't rush to call you immediately, or even check that it was right. Yours wasn't the number he labeled 'Sweetheart' on his phone.

Three years of this led to where I am today, Tenma's husband in a matter of minutes. I'm guilty, I really am. I hold all responsibility in this case, and should tell you that he loved you, and that he did care about you. But I consider myself in your place, and know it'll only hurt you more.

I'm sorry, but it's my turn to keep something inside, Tsurugi.

Tenma's POV

The wedding is over.

My name is Amemiya Tenma and I'm married to the most wonderful man I know. He was the one who brought me back when I felt hollow, the one who stayed by me those years where I would have wallowed in loneliness.

My teenage crush, the now Pro League player Tsurugi Kyousuke was the best man at my wedding. I tried to toss him the bouquet just now, but he- like he used to do to all my hugs- dodged it swiftly. Shindou-senpai (I still call him that after all this time) managed to get it in the end. I hear he's getting married to Kirino-senpai next year.

This was the most beautiful day ever. Everyone showed up, and we all (I was still in my dress!) played soccer together again. Tsurugi seemed a bit off, but I guess he was thinking about Yuuichi-san who couldn't make the wedding but sent his regards. It was too bad; I wanted to play with Yuuichi-san again.

I would be off on my honeymoon right now, except it started to rain heavily. My dress is all muddy... Aki-nee says she'll find a way to wash it off.

Too bad that it's unsafe to travel outdoors now. Taiyou's next to me, he's refused to leave my side ever since we tied the knot. I don't mind a bit of course. I hope the storm stops soon, Taiyou told me he was taking me to Licott aka Soccer Island for our honeymoon. I can't wait...

It's a shame that we're kept inside like this.

~The End~

**Done! By the way, Tenma's part is to show how his version of 'kept inside' is way milder compared to Tsurugi's or Taiyou's. Hope you guys liked that little TakuRan in there. :D**

**Just to clear up any misconceptions, Tsurugi assumed Tenma never bothered to track down his new number, thus also assuming Tenma meant his old number. But when Tenma said he'd send the details through phone, he really meant the new number cause Taiyou had tracked it down for him.**

**Please review! Any views are welcome!**


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